Should We Eat GMO Foods?
Max - Mom's stance on GMO foods means I can't eat this bag of potato chips! Because of mom, I'm missing out on a world of delectable culinary experiences!
Carter - Many people can't have GMO foods... like in France!
Max - Mom won't let the French have GMO foods either?
Will The Stay-At-Home Order Get Lifted By Easter?
Max - Did you hear? The stay-at-home order might get lifted before Easter!
Lefty - But what if the COVID-19 pandemic gets worse? Mice are communal creatures. I can't survive more social distancing... I need a hug!
Max - I hope not to be the first case of mouse-to-human transmission!
They're Called Brain Organoids And Here's Who Needs Them
Landon - Hey, Finn, I heard your lab is using stem cells to grow actual brain tissue!
Finn - Yeah, they're pea-sized, but the cells work like real neurons.
Landon - Is there a need for pea-sized clumps of brain tissue?
Finn - Shifty's already trying to sell them!
Shifty - ...Just look at your approval ratings!
Making It Look Easy
XI TACTICS FOR GETTING THROUGH A PANDEMIC
1. Rule your home with an iron fist!
2. Refuse help.
3. Bully anyone who posts their experiences online. If they don't stop, TAKE THEM OUT!
4. Deny (or lie about) #3.
5. Blame the US Govt.
Lefty - You wrote 'XI Tactics' but you only listed five.
Shifty - No, it's Xi, as in Xi Jinping, head of the Chinese Communist Party!
Professor - We should rethink our ties with them!
Lefty - Not just ties... this athletic cup made in China pinches my skin!
A New Threat?
SHIFTY: THE DICTATOR
CEO - I moved all our antibiotics production to your country while no one was looking! Thanks to my politician buddies who turned a blind eye... I'm now rich! You wouldn't use this as leverage in your pursuit of world domination, right?
Shifty - Kneel before Shifty!
He Loves To Sing In The Elevator
Professor - I heard your new friend, Dr. Gee, is a surgeon and a talented singer.
Lefty - Yeah, when he's not in the O.R. he likes to ride the hospital elevator singing 70's songs in falsetto. He says it's his only opportunity to sing to a captive audience!
Dr. Gee - Another one bites the dust...
Shifty - Why'd you push all the buttons, you jerk?
Professor - That's wrong on so many levels!
It's Amazing What They Can Do
Shifty - Tummy tucks, liposuction, face lifts... Isn't it amazing what plastic surgeons can do nowadays?
Lefty - Imaging what real ones can do!
Shifty - What do you mean 'real ones'?
Lefty - Real surgeons... instead of plastic ones.
Shifty - You need a brain transplant!
Lefty - I can get one of those too?
But There's a Price To Pay
Has civility taken a back seat to outrage and anger? I've never been involved in politics, no do I have an interest in starting now, but it's certainly hard not to notice the heightened emotions reported by the media. Are "news organizations" partly (or largely) responsible, in this age of data-driven commerce. Outrageous headlines get more clicks, which get more ad revenue, a simple, measurable, and compelling formula for explaining what's going on... at least to me. And unfortunately, Shifty experienced it firsthand!