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Admiral Rachel Levine

3/22/2022

 

Firing Rachel Levine

Rachel Levine as Assistant Secretary for Health - Sideways Comics
Transcript:
Shifty - If I was president, I'd fire Rachel Levine the Assistant Secretary for Health.
Numbers - Because he denies science which says only men have Y Chromosomes?
Shifty - Because he still plays dress-up.  60 year-olds playing dress-up shouldn't lead anything public health! 

California's New Legislation

1/28/2022

 

Brough To You By the Ever Brilliant Richard Pan and Scott Wiener

California's New Legislation - Sideways Comics
Transcript:
Numbers - Did you hear? Two Senators from California are introducing a bill that'll force K-12 school kids to get the COVID jab. They also wanna block religious exemptions.
Shifty - Which Senators?
Numbers - Richard Pan and Scott Wiener
Shifty - Two Dicks are behind this?
Numbers - That seems mildly inappropriate.
Shifty - Would you prefer I explain how these dicks are gonna screw California? 

Dope

1/25/2022

 

Shifty's New Business Plan

Dope - Sideways Comics

​Transcript:
Lefty - I just read you can make big money selling dope!
Shifty - Yeah, they're called dispensaries.  In fact, I'm opening my first dispensary next week.
Lefty - Where do you get the dope?
Shifty - Easy... just plant a politician.
Politician - Hey, get me out of here!
Shifty - This'll be easier if you stop talking.

Puzzled

9/18/2021

 

Keeping Our Commander-In-Chief Sharp

Puzzled - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Numbers - What are you doing there Mr. President?
Joe Biden - Finishing a puzzle.
Lefty - I get it!  You wanna keep your brain sharp for when you're hardball negotiating with Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping.
Joe Biden - Bingo!
Numbers - This box says 8-8 years.
Joe Biden - It only took me 3 weeks!
Lefty - He inspires me in so many ways!

Biden's Mandates

9/14/2021

 

No More Mandates

Boden's Mandates - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Rose - The midterm elections are coming up, Mr. President, and as your advisor, I suggest no more mandating.
Joe Biden - Fine.  Barack... honey, things aren't working out!  We can't see each other anymore.
Barack Obama - Get off me!
Rose - Not man-dating... mandating, as in, for vaccines!  I wish I could unsee that, sir.
​Joe Biden - Can I still sniff his hair?

Nike, Apple, And NBA News

1/19/2021

 

How Did We Get Here?

Nike, Apple, And NBA News - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
TV - Nike introduces a new athletic shoe... Apple set to ship its latest iPhone... The NBA releases next season's season...
Numbers - What are you watching, Shifty?
Shifty - News from Beijing.

Nice Man Outside

1/18/2021

 

He's Offering Moral Support

Nice Man Outside - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Lefty - Hey, Numbers.  I just met the nicest man outside.  He's offering moral support to people during these tough times.  You should meet him!
Numbers - Okay.
Grimmy - I'm here for you!
Numbers - Whaaaat?
Lefty - He's shy around strangers sometimes. 

Storming The Capitol

1/7/2021

 

Should Protestors Be Disarmed?

Storming The Capitol - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Numbers - Shifty, did you hear?  People marched into the Capitol Building and the police went in to disarm them!
Shifty - I don't approve!
Numbers - What don't you approve?
Shifty - Disarming people for no good reason... amputate their arms only if they start looting!
Numbers - I'm ignoring you!
Shifty - The right to bear arms shouldn't apply to looters. 

Dr. Fauci Interview

11/22/2020

 

How Many Need To Take The Vaccine 

Dr. Fauci Interview - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Shifty - Hey Numbers, what are you watching?
Numbers - A Dr. Fauci interview! He says if 75% of us get the vaccine, we could return to some degree of normality by the Fall of 2021.
Shifty - Is that what we're pulling out of our @## today?
Number - I'm getting the vaccine!
Shifty - And so the zombie apocalypse begins...

Run

11/19/2020

 

Social Distance For Your Life

Run - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Max - Whaaaat?
Penelope - Stop!!
Numbers - OMG, OMG!! ...Run!
Shifty - ...He's gonna sneeze!
Lefty - Aaaahh...
Shifty - We live in weird times!
​Numbers - Yup!

Raw Food

10/8/2020

 

Maybe Food Should Be Cooked

Raw Food - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Shifty - They say that cooking your food is the best way to prevent foodborne illness.
Numbers - So, to avoid the next global crisis, should wet markets sell only cooked bats?
Shifty - A bat is not food!
Numbers - That's a little racist!
Lefty - OMG... bat are little racists?!
Shifty - I wonder how Ozzie did it and not cause a pandemic?

Summer Fruit Punch

8/17/2020

 

Wanna Try Some?

Summer Fruit Punch - The ThinkShop Comics

Hi Shifty

7/26/2020

 

It's Common Courtesy

Hi Shifty - The ThinkShop Comics

IDK

6/19/2020

 

Who Knows What It Means?

IDK - The ThinkShop Comics

Amazon Delivery

6/15/2020

 

What Came First?

Amazon Delivery - The ThinkShop Comics

Massaging Eggs

6/4/2020

 

Should We Treat Them Humanely?

Massaging Eggs - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Numbers - Hey Lefty, why are you massaging that egg?
​Lefty - I heard that beef tastes better when cows are massaged.  The same might be true with eggs... Plus, it makes me feel better knowing my eggs are treated humanely before I cook them!
Egg - Let me go you fat-faced punks!!
Numbers - But we're mice!
​Lefty - Maybe I shouldn't feel bad!

Dear Math Teacher

5/27/2020

 

Finding X

Dear Math Teacher - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Lefty - Dear Math Teacher, Do me a favor and stop asking me to find your X... they're long gone!  I know you often wonder about Y. Well, here's my angle... You're complicated... and you constantly obsess over what's 'right.'  The word 'obtuse' comes to mind too!  Sincerely, Lefty 

Disinfect The Whole Thing

5/25/2020

 

Testing

5/21/2020

 

Social Media Addiction

5/20/2020

 

Shifty Gets A Prescription

Social Media Addiction - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Numbers - Did you know Shifty went to a doctor last week for his addiction to social media!
Carter - It sounds serious! Is he going to be okay?
Numbers - Debatable... they gave him a prescription and told him to take 2 tablets daily.
Carter - How's that bad?
Store Guy - HEY... COME BACK WITH THOSE!

Watching the News

5/15/2020

 

Take Care of Yourself First

What's Wrong With This World - The ThinkShop Comics
Transcript:
Numbers - The world's gone mad!

A Less Artificial Speaker

5/11/2020

 

Can Programming It Help?​

A Less Artificial Speaker - Think Shop Comics
Transcript:
Lefty - Hey Max, is that one of those speakers that can talk?
Max - Yeah!  It uses A.I. to analyze speech.  I'm programming it to sound less 'Artificial' and more like a real person.  Do you want to try it?
Lefty - My name is lefty.  I come in peace!
Speaker - I'm a digital assistant, not a space alien you moron!
​Lefty - Maybe he sounds too much like a real person.

Your Password Is Incorrect

4/25/2020

 

Logging In

Your Password Is Incorrect - Think Shop Comics
Transcript:
Shifty - What are you doing, Lefty?
Lefty - Logging into my account!
Shifty - Ohhhhh... It's incorrect!  They made online banking so easy!

Poor Little Pluto

4/19/2020

 

You Said You'd Call

Poor Little Pluto - Think Shop Comics
Transcript:
Pluto - You said you'd call.
Earth - I changed my mind!
Pluto - Is it because we can only be plutonic?
Earth - It's because you're a dwarf!
That's messed up!
Lefty - Says here the politically correct term is 'little'!

Mom's Stance On GMO's

4/15/2020

 

Max Can't Eat Those Potato Chips

Mom's Stance On GMO's - Think Shop Comics
Transcript:
Max - I can't eat this bag of potato chips because mom says GMO foods are bad!  I'm missing out on a world of delectable culinary experiences!
Carter - But many people can't have GMO foods... like in France!
Max - Mom won't let the French have GMO foods either?
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