Is Santa's Waistline Cause For Concern?
Landon - Why are you hanging a defibrillator on the fireplace Shifty?
Shifty - Santa's at risk for a major heart attack!
Landon - Really?
Shifty - Oh yeah... have you seen his waistline? Christmas wouldn't be the same without Santa. ...We've got to make sure he's alive at least until he's done with our delivery!
Fixing Our Country
Shifty - Tell me why I should vote for you!
Politician Guy - I'll fix our country!
Shifty - How?
Politician Guy - Pixie dust!
Shifty - I can't vote for someone who doesn't have a rational plan.
Politician Guy - I'll give you cash every month and pay all your expenses!
Shifty - He makes a very compelling argument!
Lefty - Woohoo! ...Vegas here we come!
A Thanksgiving Treat
Numbers - What are you doing Lefty?
Lefty - Taking measurements! I'm making a pumpkin dessert for Thanksgiving!
Numbers - Shouldn't you use a scale? Most recipes use ingredients measured by weight.
Lefty - No... you get Pi only when you divide the circumference by the diameter. There's going to be plenty for all of us... The recipe says the Pi never ends!!
And It's A New York Times Bestseller
Numbers - This New York Times Bestseller you recommended is intellectually dishonest... all lies and deceit!
Shifty - How so?
Numbers - There's no ham in the recipe for hamburger and their sweetbreads are neither sweet nor bread.
Shifty - It's a cookbook!
Numbers - Fine, I'll give it one more chance! I suppose the rocky mountain oysters could be a winner!
The Best Career Path
Chapter 1 - Any Idiot Can Get This Job. No minimum work experience or education required...
Chapter 2 - Hiding Your Past Is Simple. No background check or drug test required...
Chapter 3 - You Can Openly Look For Your Next Job During Work Hours. Don't worry... you won't get fired!
Shifty Writing - 'Why Politics Is The Best Career Path' by Shifty
Finn - Our system is broken!
Lefty - Running for office is so liberating!
But There's a Price To Pay
Has civility taken a back seat to outrage and anger? I've never been involved in politics, no do I have an interest in starting now, but it's certainly hard not to notice the heightened emotions reported by the media. Are "news organizations" partly (or largely) responsible, in this age of data-driven commerce. Outrageous headlines get more clicks, which get more ad revenue, a simple, measurable, and compelling formula for explaining what's going on... at least to me. And unfortunately, Shifty experienced it firsthand!
It's Finally Here
I have no problems with business education... I took business classes myself. Personally, I think science is where it's at. Scientific research has accounted for the most profound improvements in the human condition. Science, technology, and mathematics reveal how the natural world works. Engineering helps translate this knowledge into practical, and sometimes life-saving uses. There's no equivalent in the business world, with the possible exception of financial engineering, and we all know how deeply exceptional that's turned out. Creating money out of thin air... yippee ki-yay!
Check Out the Rock Concert
What a psychedelic experience it'd be to one day walk into the Morgan Memorial Hall of Gems at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City and see a rock concert underway, of the sort described above. I'd think I had lost my mind, or perhaps taken in some strong passerby whiffs of Washington Square Park vapes. This natural history museum will forever hold a place in my heart as it was one of the few escapes, within the city, where I could break from the chaos and cacophony of sounds that is New York.